5/12/10

sometimes i wish i was a character from a book. usually its the book im reading at the time. but today i wish i was Anna Fitzgerald from My Sister's Keeper. Because i feel like I can relater to her. and right now I just realized how horrible of a friend my "best" friend is. i now have no idea what to do. i really hope i can trust my old neighbor cuz thats who im talking to about it right now. i honestly dont feel like i can really trust her right now. and i know that she stopped telling me things. and the few things she does tell me, she tells all of her other friends first. and then she keeps calling me her "best friend" i honestly dont get it. im almost tempted to just stop talking to her but that would be mean wouldnt it? i think she stopped being my best friend in like november. its wierd. i dont think i have a best friend now. for the first time in my life. i mean, i have a ton of friends (more than most people) but i dont have a true best friend anymore. i feel so lost and im kinda pissed off. mandy always had me go to everything she was in. piano recital, ice show, play, anything. ive made all the sets for everything in the auditorium and school and she doesnt even have an intrest in seeing them. and the play im in thats on my birthday, she wont even consier going to it. :'( i feel so lost... i need help. my old neighbor is agreeing with her i think because hes always the first person she tells about things and i dont talk to him as often as he does. i dont know who to beleive. i feel so betreyed i dont know who to trust anymore. im so fiucking lost. if i think about more i think ill explode. i have to stop writing this... byyyeee



*all names have been changed for privacy reasons*